So here it is. 12 days until high school is officially over. Its staring me in the face, and the more I think, surprisingly the more panicked I become. And not for the normal reasons,such as missing friends, missing family, missing how things are, or worrying that I won't be good enough, though there is a sprinkle of each in my trepidation.
My worry is about who I am becoming.
I'm praying fervently that the lazy, panicked person I've been the past month does not follow me into college. For a few months, I was my dream me; mentally and physically healthy, productive, happy, and a person who finally stood up for her beliefs.
But as the final months of high school have been dragging on, I've gotten lazier, my mind is beginning to shut off, and its beginning to panic me. Is this simply the infamous senioritis or something more sinister, something that will follow me into college and into my own undoing?
I realize I'm likely over thinking this. Its likely just senioritis and I'll get the hell over it.
But there's that lingering fear, what if it isn't?
I can't be her. I can't be a lazy, unambitious girl. Its not me. I can't live like this.
But yet I cannot find within myself much motivation at all.
Who am I becoming?
What will college do to me?
Will I like who I am in the end?
I certainly hope I do.
