Relationships

Relationships build over time, right? That's the gist we seem to get our entire lives , that with time relationships can be beautiful. Or at least, that's the message we should be pushing.

But no, instead, (curse my soul for I love Disney), we are raised with Disney movies thinking all you need is that first initial spark to cement a life long relationship.

Um, no?

Maybe it works for a few select people, but for most normal people need something more than a spark. They need common interests, they need love, they need understanding, they need someone to know them. Even personally, the past relationship I miss the most was one that began with friendship.

This rant sprouted from a friend of mine starting a relationship only about five days after beginning talking to a girl. You barely know her? You have not gone through some life-changing event together to attach you at the hip?You're just acting like infatuated thirteen year olds?

I despise ridiculous relationships. Even friend relationships. Someone is not your best friend after a few days of knowing them. That is not how it works. Best friendship and romantic entanglement take time and energy and getting to know one another before making it serious.

But no one seems to get that.

Guess I'm all alone here in no-man's-land, dreaming of a rational, grounded relationship instead of a crazy, up in the air one.

Crazy up in the air ones can be fun but, eventually, its those grounded ones that will matter. That's what I've learned at least from my life experience. Crazy ones are hard to handle, hard to keep together, hard to make real and solid. Growing affection seems to be something much stronger.

I hope I will find my own grounded, growing relationship one day.

But for the moment, screw crazy ones and just be happy being single pringle me.

Why would I make a blog (again)?

I started this blog forever ago, under a different name, for a completely different reason. Then I deleted the shit out of that blog, getting rid of all the posts and all that I had said. I was honestly embarrassed of my words, of my actions, and didn't want to glorify anything strange about me.

But, honestly, I wanted to start again, to say things that matter to me. I had a friend who kept on showing his blog on Facebook and I was kind of jealous because it seemed like a fun idea and I wondered, "Why the hell did I stop?"

Because I was a freaking disaster when I wrote it, that's why.

That's besides the point, though. I've started again now and I want to see where it takes me. Maybe I'll talk about writing, maybe I'll talk about the environment, maybe I'll talk about personal things occasionally. Who knows. We shall certainly have to see.

Maybe one day my kids can read this and figure out what their mom was like as a teen and laugh at my tomfoolery and other hi-jinks. Or simply laugh because in twenty years a blog may sound as dumb as a diary sounds to me right about now.

Crazy how technology advances.

This is a lot shorter than I had intended. I had intended some sort of beginning monologue worthy of a Frasier Crane type character, but instead, this is what we have. Just a little itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, polka dot synopsis of me.

I'm a dreamer, I'm a lover, I'm whoever I want to be.

That's the great thing about childhood. You can be anything.

Since I lost my innocence years ago, maybe now I'm a dreamer just to try to recapture those lost years. Who knows? I certainly don't. Nobody really is certain about anything, truly, if you think about it, because the world can do whatever and could change on a dime so nothing is certain. Is anything even real? Are we actually living or is this all an allusion?

Ok, I'm getting into Matrix shit. Time to shut off the blog.

Have a fantastic day. :)